My main concern for my solo performance was that I didn’t want it to be an awkward monologue of me talking about rape. I wanted it to be more than just a story based performance detailing what happened, where and when. It is because of this that I decided that I wanted my performance to be primarily interactive with the audience. I aim to create a feeling of nostalgia for them and in doing so remind them of how they felt and how they acted when they were children, through this I wish to highlight the innocence and naivety that is associated with children.

But why am I making this link between a story of a rape and the behaviour of a child?

Due the the autobiographical nature of the piece the story element of my performance, being the rape, is actually something that I have gone through myself when I was 19 years old. For me, the man who actually did it, was someone who I knew very well and someone who I trusted and considered to be a friend. I was in a situation where I put my trust in him. At the time that it happened I partly blamed myself, thinking that I was naive and that maybe I did something to make him think that he either could or should. It was only after talking about it with those closest to me when I realised that I wasn’t to blame and that it was him in the wrong.

For me it is the naivety and trust that I had which allowed me to make the link with the naivety and trusting nature that children have. By creating a childlike nostalgia for the audience I hope to establish a safe and trusting environment and atmosphere for them and then shockingly changing this atmosphere to something extremely dark and sinister, allowing them to have some understanding of the way that I felt.